This is how you lose a sale in under 24 hours
A few weeks ago, a salesman from an AI lead generation company cold-called me.
I told him I was busy, but invited him to follow up with a short Loom video showing how his product could help Responsive Conference. I promised to watch the Loom and respond if I was interested.
He followed up – without the Loom, and with a generic pitch.
He lost the sale.
I posted about my experience on LinkedIn, with the takeaway that there are two types of selling:
❌ Coercive selling: fast-talking, pushy, ignoring requests to “follow up later.”
✅ Authentic selling: clear, respectful, tailored, and actually helpful.
Coercive selling might get short-term results, but it destroys trust. Authentic persuasion builds relationships. As BJ Fogg, PhD, says, it’s “helping people do things they already want to do.”
What’s surprising about this story is what happened next. My LinkedIn post blew up. A lot of people commiserated with the experience of being pitched but not listened to.
And other people – these are strangers on the Internet! – started lecturing me on the difference between a lead and a qualified customer, and told me that I owed it to the salesman to listen to his pitch.
I don't think I was sharing a controversial take. I believe that coercive selling ruins trust. If a salesperson doesn’t listen to a simple request during the initial sale, they’re very unlikely to take care of the customer after the sale is closed. Great sales is about taking care of people.
These beliefs aren’t universally held. Apparently, there are angry salesmen on the Internet who are willing to fight about these ideas.
For the first time in my life, my response is: bring it on! I’m delighted to fight with these strangers; to tilt at these windmills.
Because the world needs more people who actually give a damn.
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Homework
Find a moment (online or off) where you genuinely disagree with something. Don’t stay silent. Speak up. State your case clearly and calmly. The goal isn't to win, but to practice not avoiding conflict when you really care.
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3 things I’ve loved this week
Book I'm reading
Good, Reasonable People: The Psychology Behind America’s Dangerous Divide by Keith Payne
My friend Marie wrote the following blurb about this book, which I share because Marie is excellent, this book is excellent, and I’m secretly hoping she will get around to writing her own book sooner rather than later.
There is much to be learned in considering how people with actually similar goals or core ideas can end up in wildly opposing camps based on how they communicate those ideas. And while I’m certainly not advocating for bringing more politics into the workplace, what’s happening politically in the US remains a pretty big elephant in the room these days.
I recently read Good, Reasonable People: The Psychology Behind America’s Dangerous Divide by Keith Payne, a social scientist who studies polarization. There are numerous ways we can consider how to best influence those around us—and Payne’s book adds a great deal of understanding around the psychology of how people on all sides of an issue rationalize their ideas. A worthwhile read as you consider your strategic communication skills!
Article I'm reading
Writing is Thinking in Nature
“Writing compels us to think — not in the chaotic, non-linear way our minds typically wander, but in a structured, intentional manner.”
This short article urges the importance of writing on scientific thinking, especially in an age of LLMs.
I’ve found myself to be a better public speaker and a better salesman in the two years I’ve been writing Snafu.
Quote I’m considering
"I don’t want to play in a game where the other guy has an advantage. Somebody asked, ‘How do you beat Bobby Fisher?’ The answer was you play him any game except chess." –Warren Buffett
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When you're ready, here's how I can help
I've begun teaching a cohort-driven course about sales. This is a new approach to selling for people who aren't quite comfortable - yet. If you're interested, join the waitlist here.
Everyone has a story. At Zander Media, we help startups and global brands clarify their message. Videos that change people.
Responsive: What It Takes to Create a Thriving Organization is a book for any startup founder or enterprise change lead who wants to improve their organization. And if you want to learn to do a handstand, check out How to Do a Handstand.
Responsive Conference is an annual summit that brings together 300 executives, founders, and entrepreneurs who want to make work better. Join us this September and equip your team to respond to change!
Until next week,
Robin
