Welcome to Snafu, a newsletter about authentic influence in a chaotic world.

Tomorrow is my 40th birthday. Instead of 40 lessons in 40 years, I wrote advice I wish I'd had at 8 — the age when much of what still matters to me today was already taking shape.

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Advice to My 8 Year Old Self

For the last few years, I’ve used my birthday to write down what I’ve learned:

• ​37 lessons at 37​
• ​A few things I knew at 38 (that I wished I’d known at 18)​
• ​Some reflections on turning 39​

I considered writing “40 lessons in 40 years,” but instead I decided to do something a bit more challenging and write advice that might have been useful for me at 8 years old.

Your Love of Running Will Change, But Never Fade

Running was my first athletic love and by eight years old I began to define myself as a runner. That was the year I tried to keep up with my dad when he ran his first marathon. I ran a few hundred yards, but I was so impressed that he ran 26 miles.

At 18, after 10 years as a runner, I burnt out, which led to gymnastics and a career in athletics. These days I'm training boxing at a Rocky-style boxing gym with my wife four days a week – and it's the best ever.

I'm not training 30 hours a week right now, though I expect to again someday. And while my love for athletics has changed a lot over the years – from running to gymnastics, ballet to surfing and beyond – it has never faded.

My passion for sport and movement has only gotten richer through injuries and dozens of different sports. Keep that love alive. Sustain it, and it will sustain you.

Remember That Married Couple on the Bus

When I was eight years old, my family took a trip to Costa Rica. I remember sitting on a bus, traveling from one city to another, and seeing a young couple who'd recently gotten married. I remember how that couple looked at each other, and the woman’s bright red lipstick. I vividly remember thinking that I wanted something like that someday.

I got married in March, and these last three months have been some of the best of my life. Even amidst some of the existential dread that many of us feel in the world right now, committing to a partner and striving every day to do well by her means the world.

I used to think of "settled" or "settling" as a negative, as in “okay, but mildly discontent.” I've come to see the word to mean something more akin to rocks settling to the bottom of a deep lake: stable, aligned.

Stand Up To Bullies

At eight years old my peer group started to change. By nine years old, there was a lot of bullying going on in my school. I was a sensitive, perhaps even weak, boy who didn't know what to do when people I regarded as friends suddenly turned nasty.

There's a lot of bullying going on in the world today: in politics, the workplace, and on global stages. It takes courage to stand up to bullies, to go against the grain with kindness instead of bravado. Quiet confidence is at an all-time deficit.

Don't forget the little guys. Don't forget the people who are doing less well than you. Weaker, more soft-spoken. Compassion is strength. Stand up to bullies.

Home

At eight years old, my bedroom was my safe place. As things started to deteriorate in other elements of my life, I would retreat to my bedroom and hide under the covers and suck my thumb, or sit in my closet and hide in a book.

Throughout my twenties and thirties, home was complicated: renting from difficult landlords, hesitant to move because of my rent-controlled apartment, moving too frequently.

Then, last summer, I bought my first house. We have a yard, open space behind the house, plenty of space, and a pool. This is the happiest I’ve ever been in my home.

Homeownership is not a surefire way of generating wealth (unless you bought in the 1980s), but I can’t overstate the emotional benefit of home ownership. I’ve found owning a home, tending to our yard, and learning the seasons through our deciduous trees to be deeply stabilizing.

Love of Mountains

I spent a lot of time in my childhood climbing in the alpine in Yosemite, in the Trinity Alps, and in other mountains around the world. When we visited Costa Rica at 8 years old, I spent a few days in the cloud forests of Monteverde, then returned to live there in high school.

Today, even just going on a day hike is fulfilling. A multi-day camping trip is better. But whether I'm on a film shoot with Zander Media or taking Zoom calls for work, that love of the mountains, of untouched wilderness, stays with me.

As a kid, I was shaped by the wilderness. That shaping lives with me no matter what I’m doing or where I am in the world.

Keep Selling Pumpkins

By eight years old, Robin's Pumpkin Patch was a going concern.

I had gotten over the most difficult and overwhelming elements of planting pumpkins every year, nurturing them throughout the hot summer, and then selling them in the neighborhood. I had a couple of neighborhood boys who helped me set out the pumpkins and build our scarecrow costumes to flag down passing cars.

At that age my first business was marked not for the hard work that was necessary to make it happen, but for the delight of doing it. Of growing things, serving customers – and, of course, making money.

I've been working for myself for 20 years. My business today, Zander Media, is having a great year. I've seen entrepreneurship become heralded and unfathomably large amounts of money trade hands and even get earned by people I know personally and well.

But my advice to 8-year-old Robin is to keep selling pumpkins. Maintain that childlike delight when somebody hands you money in exchange for your work. Work with good people and enjoy the ride.

3 Things I’ve Loved This Week

Quote I’m Considering:

“My view is that there are only a handful of things that are really important, and you devote all your time to those and forget everything else. If you try to do all thousand things, answer all thousand phone calls, you will dilute your efforts in those areas that are really essential.”

– Larry Ellison

Video I’m Re-visiting:

​How to Make Homemade Bone Broth (Cubes!)​

I recently ran out of chicken broth, so I revisited this video to remind myself how to make concentrated bone broth cubes.

Sugar Replacement I’m Using:

​Plant-Based Sugar Alternative – 1:1 Allulose & Monk Fruit Sweetener​

I cook with Allulose and Monk Fruit pretty regularly and have several varieties of both in my pantry. But I recently discovered this one-to-one replacement, and it's remarkable how much easier it is to use.

Want more?

Until next week,
Robin