The attitude required for sales
In my early twenties, I ran a business working with children with autism.
Autistic kids often lack the social standards that we take for granted. They rely on their felt-sense of those around them – their intuitive feel for the attitudes held by others – in place of social niceties.
We all sense other people's attitudes, whether we realize it or not. And these attitudes shape how we behave.
The same attitude that I learned working with special needs kids is useful in persuasion. You can sell a car through pressure and pushiness; I can motivate a child through judgment and shame. But it is more effective to show up loving, curious, and present, and invite towards what you want from there.
About the attitude
An inviting attitude is more effective than one that is demanding and judgmental.
This is the same attitude that great parents have with their kids, great leaders have with their teams, and great salespeople have with their clients. It has three parts:
Loving
Successful selling starts with generosity.
When you show up compassionate and loving, you are more compelling and better able to foster connection.
This loving attitude provides your prospective client the rare opportunity to see themself, and their situation, with love and compassion. It builds rapport.
So, before you try to sell your product or persuade someone of your belief, take a moment to connect with them.
Presence
In working with kids with autism, the first skill I learned to practice was presence – following them into their world, instead of insisting that they join my own.
And this ability, to be present with yourself or someone else, is equally valuable in sales.
You won't be 100% present. But when you get distracted, returning to your client, and the connection you’re building.
Acceptance
Acceptance is often the most difficult part of a successful attitude in sales. As salespeople, we get attached to the outcome of a successful sale.
But when you don't judge the decisions of the person that you are selling to – when you only want what is best for them – you create an environment where things are more likely to go your way.
Your presence closes deals
How you show up with a prospective customer will determine whether they buy.
Maintaining an attitude of enthusiasm, and not desperation. Keep your buyer's best interest at heart and you have a much better chance of having things go your way.
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Homework
Without prying, find out three personal details about your local barista.
Show up with interest and enthusiasm for who they are. Ask how long they’ve been working at the cafe. Find out what they’re aspirations are. Are they saving? Are they in school? Do they want to own their own cafe, someday?
Get to know them and find out personal details. If you’re uncomfortable asking, all the better. Practice the attitude.
In order to do that you'll have to be curious, present, and non-judgmental.
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3 Things I’ve Loved This Week
Quote I'm considering:
“People think focus means saying yes to the thing you've got to focus on. But that's not what it means at all. It means saying no to the hundred other good ideas that there are.” — Steve Jobs
I went for a hike last weekend and wore a friend's 40 pound weight vest. It was hard, I loved it, and now I own one, too.
I look ridiculous walking my dog around the local park wearing this thing, but it's worth it!
I've spent some time talking about the role of chief of staff with Chris Fussell, co-author of Team of Teams and One Mission. Chris served in that role for General Stanley McChrystal during the Iraq War and we became friendly through Responsive Conference.
Prior to this book, I haven’t read a lot about previous US presidents but now I’m intrigued by the different personalities of these most powerful men, and the people they surround themselves with.
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Support Snafu
This newsletter is free and I don’t run ads, but I do spend dozens of hours researching and writing about selling each week. Here’s how you can support Snafu.
30-day sales course - The course is coming out in May! Each day for a month, you'll receive an email with a short video, an article, and homework. The course also comes with a money-back guarantee. Join the waitlist here!
Attend Responsive Conference - We are hosting an immersive 2-day conference this September in Oakland, CA. This is my one big event of the year and I'd love to see you there!
Books by Robin - I've published two books - so far! If you’re interested in learning to do a handstand, check out How to Do a Handstand. If you’re building a company or want to improve your company’s culture, read Responsive: What It Takes to Create a Thriving Organization.
Thanks for your consideration!
Until next week,
Robin
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