Run Your Race
SpaceX went public on Friday. I personally know a couple of people whose lives will be changed by the Anthropic and OpenAI IPOs later this year. I'm reminded of a quote I read recently that "jealousy is a Rorschach test."
Watching people have life-changing experiences can engender jealousy, excitement, or the desire to work harder and do better for oneself. How you feel reveals more about you than about them.
As I write this, I'm watching two blue-bellied lizards on a sunny rockwall in my backyard. One of the lizards is doing that funny push-up mating dance that lizards do.
I'm also just back home from a whirlwind 24-hour trip to New York, where I was filming on behalf of an AI startup.
There's an idea that a lot of jealousy comes down from a lack of clarity about why we're doing what we're doing or the races we're trying to run.
While many of my friends were getting in early at well-known technology companies in 2015, I was training ballet 40 hours a week. That, for me at the time, was a higher priority.
I'm not participating in any of these three IPOs, but at the same time I'm taking time to write this while sitting in my backyard. I've chosen to prioritize life where I can say no to work I don't want to do.
Having just celebrated my 40th birthday this last week, I thought I’d write out a few things that I’m prioritizing; a few of the races that I’m running.
Happy Wife, Happy Life
I’ve been married three months, and they’ve been some of the best of my life to date.
I've heard it said that great relationships are ones in which both parties feel like they've won out and are always striving to do well by their spouse. I want to be the best husband that I can be.
Simultaneously, the divorce rate in the United States is above 40% and some of the wealthiest people in the world have the most divorces.
Things aren’t perfect, obviously. My wife started a new job 12 weeks ago for a name-brand AI company and went from working 30 hours to 80 hours a week. As a result, I see less of her than I did the month before we were married.
In my – albeit limited – experience, having a great relationship does not mean everything is great all the time. It does mean prioritizing the well-being of my partner.
One of the races that I want to win is that of “happy wife, happy life.”
Working Out Every Day
I started to see something interesting at 40. People who I knew 15 years ago are not prioritizing their health the way they once did.
My wife and I go to a boxing class in a Rocky-style boxing gym four days a week, and I lift, run, or swim at a minimum two additional days per week. I'm a physical addict and go crazy if I don’t workout daily. It is really interesting to see some people my age in the best shape of their lives, and others much less so.
Physical health is one of my top priorities.
Brain Training
In the last year, I’ve found that it takes me longer to recall a word than it did a few years ago. It's only a second or two, but my recall speed, historically a point of pride, is just a little bit slower than it once was.
I try to read as much as possible, but I've found myself reading fewer physical books in the last couple of years than I did ten years ago.
Brain training, whether through reading books, writing, practicing a language or something like BrainHQ, is increasingly important.
I've met eighty-year-olds who are incredibly sharp and others who were unrecognizable compared to their younger selves. One of the races I hope to win is that of aging well.
Meaningful Work
A friend of mine is a former tech executive who recently bought a plumbing company. Being the owner/operator of a plumbing company is not nearly as “prestigious” as working for a name-brand technology company, but he wanted to return to his entrepreneurial roots.
I've been running Zander Media for eight years now, and we've done a lot of work that I'm very proud of. I started this company out of my own desire to become a better storyteller and to study the best stories of businesses, entrepreneurs, and social movements around the world.
I don't expect that Zander Media will be my last company any more than it was my first, but for the last 15 years I've been able to choose work that I enjoy and work alongside people I admire.
For me, that freedom of work is priceless.
Family
When we bought our house about a year ago, we chose to do so within 30 minutes of my parents.
That meant being further away from San Francisco and some elements of our social life. It also meant buying in California versus somewhere more wild, where we could own more land or avoid state taxes.
I wanted to be a part of my parents’ lives: to be able to go and mow their lawn on a regular basis and help out in their older age.
There are always trade-offs. But one I've chosen gladly is to be near to my family, and prioritize those relationships.
Run Your Race
It's easy to get jealous of somebody else's life and their choices. Watching the SpaceX IPO, and anticipating OpenAI and Anthropic, it can be tempting to wonder “what if?” But the trade-off is that I work out every day. I set my own schedule. Right now, I am watching these blue-bellied lizards in their courtship ritual in our backyard.
These are trade-offs that I'm glad to make. When I do start to find myself feeling jealous of somebody else's success, I remind myself: run your own race.
3 Things I’ve Loved This Week
Quote I’m Considering:
“Money doesn't change men, it merely unmasks them." - Henry Ford
Amidst the number of IPOs this year, including SpaceX yesterday, and Anthropic and OpenAI later this year, I think about this quote often. I’ve met a handful of billionaires in my life, and none of them were especially in touch with the reality of everyday people.
Bird Feeder I’m Using:
We get a lot of wildlife in our backyard, including wild turkeys, foxes, coyotes, and skunk, but I'm trying to encourage more songbirds as well. I recently bought this bird feeder, and while nothing is truly squirrel-proof, so far it's done a good job.
Book I’m Loving:
I spend a lot of time in Puerto Rico, and specifically on the island of Vieques, because my best friend lives there. As a result, I've had more exposure than most Americans to US territories.
It remains shocking to me that most “mainlanders,” as we are called in the territories, don't realize that Puerto Rico is actually a part of the United States.
How to Hide an Empire is the under-explored history of the United States as an empire – from the Trail of Tears and mass forced migration of Native Americans through the guano wars, where the US tried to secure rights to the precious fertilizer of deserted islands in the Pacific, the annexation of Puerto Rico from Spain, and much more.
Equally thorough and captivating, this is required reading for any American to understand the importance of geography and race in our national history. The book doesn't blame anybody or talk down, while still acknowledging the harsh realities of our history.
Want more?
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Until next week,
Robin
